Get Your Corn Dogs, Corn Dogs for $1

I would rather watch a baboon pick ticks off a chimpanzee on Discovery HD than watch most shows on the Prime Time Networks. Don't get me wrong, I have my guilty pleasures [cough, cough] "Family Guy", "My Name is Earl", [cough, cough]. But by and large, I think the folks on the Discovery Channel, Comedy Central, the Food Network, and a few of the other non-legacy channels are taking chances, writing scripts and generally producing more thought-provoking, watchable TV than any of the the mainstream channels. I suspect this is due to investor concerns and general upper management malaise, but I get conflicted attacking naked capitalism.

But this isn't a rant. It's a non-paid commendation.

Mrs. Bang saw an advertisement for "When We Left Earth" during the previews of one of the two or three movies we see in the theater on an annual basis. Forget the principle of you being the customer, paying to see a movie, and the chutzpa of the theaters to put an advertisement before you (I think the movie was "Ironman"). Promised.. not.. to.. rant... [punches self in head] Let's break tradition and be results-oriented for a bit. "When We Left Earth".

So we set the DVR to record it.

One word-- "Fantawesomagincredible."

One of the most insightful, proud-to-be-an-American, scientifically breathtaking shows I've ever seen.

This also isn't a review. One sentence synopsis-- an engaging, well documented summary of the history of the manned space-flight program, basic enough for the space novice, technical enough to spark the appreciation of an nerdy geeky inquisitive Max Boom, and entertaining enough to hopefully reignite the belief of this generation of Americans that there are in fact no bounds to the limits of what man can accomplish. Ron Howard as producer gets a "Max Boom World Changer" medal. Redeemable for a Bud Select poured by me at the venue of his choosing, if he so requests. But back to the show.

So every TV show has commercials. This isn't a commentary on the fact that I pay a premium for the Discovery HD channel. I will gladly pay extra coin, and even further will watch the occasional commercial, for superior content. As a fan of capitalism, I will even watch the commercials on a DVR'd show because I feel I owe it to the company. Provided you have good enough consultants and the commercials reach me. It's a trade-off. I tape the show to watch when convenient, and I will do you the service of watching the commercials that pay the bills because that's an implied trade-off. I won't circumvent that deal just because technology allows me to do so.

But the commercials better tell a story.

There are a cadre of human advertising drones optimizing what commercials to pair with what show. Some hawk $1,000 spinning hubcaps that you can finance at 8% for 6 years. Others pawn a $900 vacuum that can suck a diaper off a child and will give a pedicure if you buy their nail polish.

And some presumably target me and those like me. Which is to say, hyper-intelligent, chiseled, well-hung hicks.

I am a huge fan of "When We Left Earth." Here are the commercials I wrote down during one break.

ING Investments - Safeguarding your "Number" i.e. retirement nest egg. People carrying their retirement value around as a number under their arms.
Mastercard Instant Rewards - A morning coffee at Starbucks, gym after work and expensing the new leather briefcase that gets opened at night "priceless" kind of day.
Amway - Touting lip-sticks, high-end purses and other chick markets (aimed at 2nd income type folks?)
Comfort Inn - In troubling times, an economic alternative for families with enough disposable income to take vacations, but not enough to stay at the Ritz.
Direct TV - Boardroom setting, Cable HD folks who obviously have no idea how to do business. "Let's charge more, people earning money are obviously too busy to mess with HD quality." Choose Direct TV, we appreciate you earners.
Acura - If you're watching this, you're in the market for an Acura, Benz or Beemer. We encourage Acura.

I'm OK with this ad set, even though it implicitly ignores my more hillbilly southern sensibilities.

Who's advertising to you?