F You All, You Dumb...Stupid...Other Countries...You

This was forwarded to me under the title "The Perfect Presidential Candidate." 2 of the 3 readers on the distribution list felt that it was very strongly Republican in nature. Presumably because it adopts a "Punch-you-in-the-mouth" overtone lobotomized from the typical Democrat psyche some time ago. As almost certainly the most right-leaning contributor to this blog (except on the issue of immigration, the reasons for which will become apparent), I thought I'd weigh in on my opinion of the above "speech."
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WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

' My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all Ameri can forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon ne chance, me z a mies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicl es located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of =20 thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess w here I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America .

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. '

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a s oldier. (Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!

Let's get this to every USA computer !)
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Summary
It's drivel and patently contradicts the very cornerstones upon which this great country was founded.

Taking it generally point-by-point.

Cease foreign aid if your country doesn't agree with our every opinion like the 5 countries on List 1. This standard doesn't survive marriages, friendships, or any other mutual-benefit relationship with only 2 individual participants. But let's expect it to work on the national level. Also, last time I checked, Spain pulled its Iraq troops in a dramatic gesture of "Dude, this was soooo wrong!".

But now, let's withdraw our troops because a country that has lived under tyranny for 3000+ years can't pull off democracy within the window of an election cycle. America, founded on a vision that all people are created equal, is the best example of a thriving democracy the world has ever known. It's taken us over 200 years starting from a blank slate to get here. And we've still got our pimples.

Cut off foreign aid to List 2 countries to pay for Iraq and then fix Social Security.
Yearly US Foreign Aid = +/- $23 Billion. (http://www.ipb.org/Israel%20and%20Egypt%20Receive%20Most%20US%20Military%20Aid.pdf, page 3. Note: This is the highest estimate of foreign aid out of several sources.)
Yearly Iraq War Cost = $144 Billion (http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=4418698)
Social Security Shortfall = Net present value of benefits owed vs. taxes to be collected = $6.5 Trillion (http://www.heritage.org/Research/SocialSecurity/wm1868.cfm)
The author's supporting math to the "Stop Foreign Aid to Shore Up Social Security" proposition-


Need help with a famine? Sorry, your citizens are too crappy to withstand a military junta. Let 'em starve! I'm buying a boat.

(shamelessly pirated from FlatsHunter-- nice wurk)

And let's sever ties with France, Germany and Russia. But please ignore that Germany and France are our 5th and 8th largest trading partners. [I actually think we could live without #8,


but that's an essay for another day. For now, keep focus on the knee-jerk.] Let's also cut ties with Russia, what with one of the most differing government philosophies to our own on the planet. Never mind that they are starting to flex their fiscal might largely due to figuring out that oil is worth something. You don't support us, fine. I'm putting my hands over my face and you've all gone away.

And let's retire from NATO. Forget our membership in the UN, which like a python is making every attempt to strangle the sovereignty from every country more powerful than Angola. Let's focus on NATO, the only long term, multi-country conglomeration that has managed to accomplish anything (see winning that Cold War thingy.) Oh yeah, remember September 11th. It was shortly afterwards that the same NATO enacted Article 5-- "You hit one of us, you hit all of us... and we can make your country glow." NATO>UN for US interests.

I'll gloss over the fact that the author devotes more words to the "Tow the UN Diplomat's Car, that'll show them who's boss!" than to any other concept.

Oh, and Canada, your name isn't too far down on our list. Don't make us open this...





Guess we'll cut the $0 in foreign aid we give you. You're such leeches...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/321891_katrina30.html

Close our borders now! Forget the "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free" precept upon which we were founded. That ended with the Irish. Now, "they're takin' our jobbbbs!"

"Soldier, I appreciate your service over the last 4 years in Iraq away from your family. I see Mercedes in your future."
"Right on, a Mercedes!"
"No, grunt. Mercedes, TX. I'm parking you in a tank on the Rio Grande so you can keep our workers safe from all them Mexicans!"

Withdraw from NAFTA = The Dum. Historically, the U.S. modus operandi is success through invention. Raw Materials + American Minds and Work Ethic = Superpower. NAFTA opens up largely tariff free access to raw materials from both Canada and Mexico (taking a few liberties on tariff free, but bear with me.) Basically, it says "We can all access the same materials and the same markets on roughly equal terms." This is right in our wheelhouse! Every country has finite physical resources. Untethered from that, it then has a capacity to create limited only by constraints on its populations' intelligence+drive and any further restraints imposed by the government (illegal, over taxed, over-regulated, etc.) The U.S. resume is filled with family trees beginning in America with an ancestor who said of his home country "I'm too constrained and too smart to stay here. I'm going to America." Our primordial soup was comprised of the driven and the smart. And now we're going to oppose being given cheaper access to another countries' natural resources and labor pool, the only finite holding any country really has, because we're afraid to match our brains and wits with theirs? Ridiculous! America is not defined by strong backs working for nominal wages. We should be cheering the export of brute labor and figuring out how to utilize our superior capacity to create-- relishing the fact that we can export the low-wage mindless component of industry and open up additional opportunities to invent here instead.

Go drill in Alaska. I don't care. It's short sighted and a relatively minor issue. I'll file in the same folder with the UN-car chop shop. Irrelevant. Darn tootin' I will.

And now let's rally around "We need to fix our own problems here first!"

Go on, monkey, rally!

OK, feel better? Now understand this. No one has to be hungry. No one has to be homeless. You've just got to want it. We have job assistance programs. Check the classifieds- someone's always looking for someone. Not 7 figure jobs, but jobs nonetheless. We have subsidized housing. Not mansions, but clean and affordable based on income. The deal is you have to show up for work every day. We have free schools, buses and lunches. You can give a better life to your children. Today. You just have to meet Uncle Sam half way. His hand is, and has always been, out to help anyone who dusts themselves off and says "Just give me a chance to make it myself."

On the flip side, the government doesn't owe you help fixing all of your problems. It owes you protection from unprovoked harm and a reasonably fair playing field. Everything else is applesauce.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read it in English, thank a soldier. Not my words. Not the words of the ignorant author either. But spot on, nonetheless.

In short, this is what I think of the author's efforts--