"An Ode to Sunrise" by My Tree

“Oh beautiful sun, ascending on the horizon,
Your glimmering rays drying dew on my limbs,
Shine forth..”

[chirp]

“Ahem, shine forth your golden..”

[chirp chirp]

“YOU. DOWN THERE. SHUT YOUR LITTLE BEAK!”

[groans, branch moves a fraction of an inch, bird unmoved]

[chirp]

“Hrrrrrumph!”

[acorn drops near bird, it flutters off]

“Right. Now...where were we--
Your glimmering rays drying dew on my limbs,
Shine forth your golden light upon my leaves
And embrace..

[garage door opens]

“For the love of dirt, KEEP IT DOWN!”

[Max Boom walks out with pruning shears]

“What’s this? Wait. No. NOOOOO! EEEEEOOOOOWWWWW! Not that one too. AAAAARRRGHHH!”

[passes out]

[bark lids flutter some hours later]

“My beautiful limbs...so short now…neutered. Butcher is…tying me... up?

[passes out again, more hours pass]

“Oh sun, you leave for the day. Our dance was too short. Tomorrow our affair resumes anew. For now, darkness falls and I must rest. Adieu..”

[garage door opens]

“Stay away! You heathen! You psychopath! Stay away!”

[Max walks to side of house. Tree notices orange tether running from trunk to outlet.]

“What the deuce?”

[Max plugs in cord, Christmas lights illuminate]

“Idiot. You pea-brained cretin! It's May! Oh F-me…”