Man vs. Wild

We here at Real Ultimate Engineers take pride in being able to recognize other Real Ultimate performers. Today we recognize Bear Grylls, the star of Man vs. Wild.

Today, Bear was in Namibia. Now water and food are both scarce in the Namibian desert. What would you or I do? Probably eat whatever dry crappy plants you could find. Not Bear. A puff adder, one of the most dangerous snakes in Africa, looked tasty to him. Bear approached this snake, having enough venom to kill 5 men, pulled it out from under a rock with a stick, and hit it on the head until it was dead. He then cut the head off (the head with the fangs was still deathly poisonous) and took a bite of the raw flesh where its head just was. After taking two bites of the snake's body, he cooked the thing and finished it.

When he finally caught up with the African tribesmen he was looking for, he and they tracked down a porcupine that had buried itself deep in it's burrow. Bear and the tribesmen dug down until they could crawl into this thing (think rabbit holes in Vietnam). This porcupine charged Bear, and he backed off, stepped on the porcupine to hold it down (he was wearing shoes, but the quills were like 18" long), and put a stick through its head to kill it. Good eating.

Tomorrow, Bear is somewhere else equally terrible. The preview looked like a swamp, but I didn't catch where it is. Anyway, he catches a small alligator (by small, I mean 3 feet long) by its tail, and kills it by swinging it by the tail to smash its head on a tree. Now that's hardcore.